


Just Another Alien Invasion Comedy

by extremelyperturbed



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alien Invasion, Alternate Universe - Crack, Comedy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 10:19:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/951928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extremelyperturbed/pseuds/extremelyperturbed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is in response to a kinkmeme request:</p><p>Hannibal is from a race of aliens/demons/vampires/other who are here to make the world their own by infiltrating various social roles and then taking over the humans in full force. Once the invasion is fully under way, Hannibal decides to reveal himself to Will (who's human), and make Will his own, or otherwise take Will under his care. Gen or other ships welcome.</p><p>Bonus for if Hannibal's nature is revealed when Will, Hannibal, (and maybe other characters) are on the run or hiding from the enemy. They're found and Hannibal reassures the monsters that he's in control of the human/s. And whelp, now the human/s belong to Hannibal. Hannibal's been leading them on the whole time. Because it's fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Another Alien Invasion Comedy

“This is the most remote, safest place I can think of,” said Will as he led Hannibal, Beverly, Jimmy, Brian and Bedelia into his cabin in the woods in upper New York state. He had wanted to get Jack, Bella, Alana and Abigail but the alien invasion and the ensuing confusion had made communication difficult and he could only hope that they had also found shelter away from the big cities. He had wanted to take his dogs but they had seemed to sense the incoming threat before anybody else had and had scattered, leaving Will unable to gather them up for an escape. He could only hope that they were OK, wherever they were.

“This kind of reminds me of summer camp,” said Beverly.

“A good camp or a bad camp,” said Brian.

“Hey, this is the best I could come up with,” said Will.

“There’s no TV or radio here,” said Jimmy.

“It’s a cabin, not a resort. We can just use the car radio for information,” said Will. “Dr. Du Maurier, are you sick?”

“No, I just haven’t been out of my house in a long time. And I‘m a little carsick,” said Bedelia. “I think I’ll just sit down.” Instead of sitting down, she lay down on the couch and closed her eyes.

Will rubbed his face. It had been a shock when the lights in the skies had turned out to be alien spacecraft. For the first few moments, everybody had been hoping to have a Carl Sagan type encounter where two races would communicate intelligently and non-violently. Sadly, such was not the case when various world leaders suddenly announced that not only were they aliens but that the day had come when everybody had to bow down to their new masters and revealed that the situation was going to be more like the Twilight Zone episode where the book “To Serve Man” turned out to be a cookbook.

***

Luckily, the cabin had a cord of wood so there was heat and light from the wood stove. The cabin also had a well that had potable water. And Hannibal had just filled up the trunk of his car with groceries when the invasion had started.

“Maybe it’ll be like War of the Worlds,” said Jimmy.

“What do you mean?” said Brian.

“I mean, maybe the aliens will be defeated when they catch one of our diseases and start dying off.”

Beverly frowned. “I seriously doubt that. Depending on how different their make-up is, how could an Earth virus get an alien cell to replicate itself? Unless the military has some super advanced crap under wraps, we are so screwed.”

Bedelia sighed. “I wish I had brought the contents of my wine cellar.”

“Any news?” said Beverly.

Hannibal shook his head. “I turned on the car radio but none of the stations reach us. I can’t tell if it’s because we’re in such a remote location or . . .” Hannibal didn’t finish his sentence.

Will said, “How about we make pasta for dinner?”

***  
“Will, where are you going?”

“There’s a lake nearby. We need to stretch out the groceries. I got my fishing poles and the lures. Some fresh fish might cheer them up a bit.”

“I’ll be going with you.”

“I don’t think . . .”

“I insist. It’s not like keeping one more person in the cabin twiddling his thumbs will make things better.”

“Fine, you can come.”

***  
“Dr. Lecter?’ said Will as they fished standing near each other on the shore of the lake.

“Yes?”

“I think this is the end of the world, at least the way we knew it. Maybe not everybody dies and maybe not everything is destroyed but nothing’s ever going to be the same again. And that‘s even if the aliens all just left tomorrow.”

“That’s true.”

“I guess this means I won’t be profiling any more.”

“Probably not.”

“It doesn’t really matter any more but I was thinking that the Chesapeake Ripper might be one of them. Though how spending so much of his time being a serial killer would help their cause, I don’t know.”

“That’s an interesting supposition.”

“If he is, I wonder if he’s happy that he’s now surrounded by people just like him.”

“Maybe they’re not just like him.”

Will frowned in puzzlement. “What do you mean?”

“He could be considered strange even to them.”

“Hmm,” said Will. “I guess I’ll never know. Dr. Lecter . . .”

“It’s the end of the world as we know it. Could you please call me Hannibal? We are friends, aren‘t we?”

“OK. Hannibal . . . It sounds selfish but I’m glad that you’re one of the people I’m spending the Apocalypse with.”

“It’s not selfish. I’m glad you’re with me as well.”

***  
After a fish dinner which everybody enjoyed, Will went out to watch the sunset. Hannibal sat next to him.

“What are you thinking, Will?’ said Hannibal.

Will shook his head.

“Go on, tell me.”

“I don’t know how long we’ll be safe up here. Only Beverly and I have our guns.”

“I doubt that will last a few minutes against them.”

“That’s why I’ve decided that if they come here, I’m going to save a bullet for myself.”

“You mustn’t think like that! I won‘t allow it!”

Will blinked. “Hanni . . . Umph . . .” He was interrupted by Hannibal kissing him. His eyes closed and he opened his mouth.

Friend, my ass, thought Bedelia as she caught them making out.

***  
It was rather inevitable but one morning the aliens had them surrounded.

“Let me deal with this,” said Hannibal.

“Are you nuts?” said Will.

“We can’t escape so let me talk to them. There’s nothing to be lost.”

Bedelia narrowed her eyes at Hannibal but said nothing.

Hannibal walked out of the cabin and looked as if he was going to say something when all the aliens suddenly raised one fist in the air and said something in their language.

Beverly turned to Will. “It looks like they were saluting him.”

“Yeah, it does.”

Their suspicions were confirmed when Hannibal began saying things in the same language. After a short conversation, most of the soldiers left. Only six soldiers stayed behind and stood outside the cabin door.

Hannibal walked into the cabin, only to see Beverly and Will holding a gun on him.

“Who are you?” said Will.

“I’m their prince.”

Bedelia started screaming, “I knew it. I knew you weren’t human! Mother of God!”

“Since we’re going to die anyway, we might as well go down fighting,” said Beverly.

“You’re not going to die. I’ve told them that you’re off limits.”

“Why?” said Will.

“Because you are my friend.”

Bedelia yelled, “You don’t understand the meaning of the word friend!”

“If you stop yelling, I’ll get you some wine,” snapped Hannibal. “I’m having a moment with my friend!”

Bedelia shut up but not because of the offer of wine but because his fangs had popped out. Jimmy and Brian screamed in terror and clung to each other.

It was then that a grenade was thrown into the cabin, filling the cabin with a knockout gas that made everybody but Hannibal unconscious.

Hannibal sighed and picked up Will. “You’re going to be so cranky when you wake up.”

The End

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking of the humor type found in the "Shaun of the Dead" zombie movie when writing this though there is no zombies in this. 
> 
> I also wanted Bedelia to have a massive meltdown, to finally let the icy mask slip. Not that I blame her.


End file.
